The Difference between Etiquette and Manners

It’s not unusual to be confused about the difference between etiquette and manners. Etiquette provides a structure within which good manners can flourish.

Knowing and understanding the difference between etiquette and manners seems as if it ought to be simple, but it isn’t. It can be extremely confusing and difficult to explain. But I am going to try.

Etiquette is a set of societal rules that exist within their own context. For example, there is business etiquette, workplace etiquette, golf etiquette and wedding etiquette. The list goes on. Within each of those etiquettes—and I frankly wasn’t even sure that the plural of etiquette existed because I have never used it—there are certain expected behaviors. Those behaviors are manners. Think of etiquette as the code or the foundation. Manners are the demonstration or carrying out of those rules.

From the moment the first caveman invited his neighbor into his cave, etiquette has existed. We don’t rip off the best part of the carcass and offer it to our guest first as cavemen did. We are a bit more civilized, but like the caveman, we always offer the best to our guests first. Caveman dining etiquette is definitely different from modern dining etiquette. If we dine like a caveman today, people will leave the table never to be seen again.

Etiquette is timeless because it is fundamentally rooted in kindness, courtesy and respect. It is the foundation and the code. Consider the rules as the implementation of the code and our guide for how we interact others.

As you come to know me, and follow my posts, you’ll learn my mantra—Etiquette is not about rules; It’s about relationships.

The entire reason that etiquette and manners exist is to build relationships. The way we behave toward others can make them feel comfortable when we get it right. If we fail to make the effort to follow the rules of etiquette, we will turn people off. Those people may be business clients, family members, friends or total strangers.

I hope you will follow along with me as I write about the code of conduct in different settings and the behaviors that are expected within each.

Here are a few examples of the topics I will be writing about in future posts:

· Dress Codes

· Communication

· Conversation

· Social media

· Punctuality

· Table manners

· The list goes on…

If you have questions or topics you would like for me to address, please reach out to me. I know it can sometimes be confusing. Here’s to clarity!!!

- Lydia Ramsey

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