Barbecue Etiquette – Time to Revisit the Rules

Memorial Day is upon us, marking the official start of the summer barbecue season.

Memorial Day is upon us, marking the official start of the summer barbecue season. This is the time of the year when the grill is hauled out, cleaned off, the required cooking utensils inventoried, lawn furniture hosed down, and special sauces and rubs added to the grocery list.

If barbecue etiquette sounds like an oxymoron, it isn’t. There are rules for how to conduct yourself whether you are the host or the guest at a cookout. Just because these events are held outdoors and are casual in nature does not mean that anything goes. Whether it’s a business occasion like the company picnic or a gathering of family and friends, you need to mind your manners.

Etiquette Tips for the Host:

1. Be prepared. Make sure you have enough of everything from charcoal or propane to food and beverages. Don’t forget an ample supply of plastic cups, paper plates, napkins and disposable cutlery. Grandma’s china and crystal are poor substitutes if you run out of serving items.

2. Have a rain plan. While rain should be forbidden during outdoor events, it happens. Arrange for tents if the crowd is large. If you are entertaining a smaller group, know how you will manage if your guests have to move indoors.

3. Provide all the food and beverages. Unless you are hosting a family reunion or the traditional neighborhood party, don’t ask people to bring the food. If someone insists on bringing a dish; be gracious and accept, but don’t make it a requirement.

4. Have plenty of bug spray and insect repellent. Your guests should eat, not be eaten. If you live in a “buggy” environment, it’s a good idea to have food domes on hand, not only to keep certain foods fresh, but also to keep pests out of your culinary delights. Flies should not be the secret ingredient.

Etiquette Tips for the Guest:

1. Keep your grilling advice to yourself. Your host is in charge of the grill. You may have what you consider a better way of doing things, but unless you realize the host is about to set the house on fire, keep your mouth shut. Open it only for conversation and food.

2. Leave your legendary potato salad at home. Unless you are asked to bring a dish, don’t. It would be an insult to your host who already has a carefully planned menu. It is polite and often welcome to offer to bring something but ask first to be sure it will be welcome.

3. Arrive on time, especially if you are bringing a dish. “On time” doesn’t mean come early. Your host doesn’t need to entertain guests while attending to last minute details.

4. Practice buffet line etiquette. Don’t overload your plate on the first round. You can go back for seconds only after others have had a turn.

5. Volunteer to help. These events can get hectic so offer to assist especially when it comes to cleaning up.

6. Use your napkin to clean off your sticky fingers. Tempting as it may be to lick your fingers, it is simply not good manners even at a picnic. Neither is using your fingernail or a toothpick to pluck the corn silk from between your teeth. Be sure to have dental floss on hand but excuse yourself and go to a secluded spot before you floss.

7. A word about vegetarians and vegans. Don’t expect a vegetable dish to be the main course at a barbecue. It’s polite to let your host know ahead of time of any special needs and to offer to bring a vegetarian dish. As for vegans, at the risk of offending someone, expecting to have your needs met is putting adding stress on your host. Follow the same rules as the vegetarian. You might consider eating something before you go.

Etiquette Tips Specifically for the Company Barbecue

1. Maintain your professionalism. While you are there to have fun, be mindful of your actions and your words.

2. Dress like a professional. Business attire is not expected, but your casual dress should be conservative. Avoid anything that is sloppy, shabby, sexy or revealing.

3. Play it safe with the drinks. If alcohol is being served, limit your intake. Warm weather, alcoholic beverages and a company barbecue can be a dangerous combination.

Barbecue picnics are a relaxed way for family, friends and co-workers to come together to socialize and build relationships. Enjoy yourself but be mindful of your manners. Demonstrate your best picnic etiquette so you will be invited back. In the case of the company cookout, good manners will ensure that you will still have a job the following workday.

- Lydia Ramsey

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